Forever victim
There was a situation where I was getting too close to an unstable person. My closeness was solely to attempt to help them. They were always in a position of despair. It was as if they thrived off of being a perpetual victim. No one liked them. By no one,I mean the ones who truly got to know them.
I didn't understand this. For example,some people may not like me, but if I give them a chance to be close to me,they enjoy my company. For this person, it was the opposite. So for years, every time they would experience rejection,I'd study the situation and give advice on how to be a pleasant person. They followed the advice until they couldn't fake it anymore.
The mask
The thing about faking being pleasant is that it gets exhausting. I didn't understand that I naturally wake up pleasant and it's not standard for many people. I am not meaning to sound arrogant, so I'll give an example. My youngest son is pleasant. My dad was pleasant. He passed in 2020. They entertain themselves (meaning, they type that can play a game independently).Whenever something is bothering them, they say what it is when asked. They don't like upsetting people. It's easy to understand how to get a smile on their face. They eat the exact same things. For example, my son ate waffles every morning for years. They aren't picky about name brands. They're pleasant.
Unstable people operate in the exact opposite way. In my opinion, it's because of the problem-solving tactics. The unstable person I spoke of initially purposely:
●Did things to upset people intentionally
●Was never satisfied
●Needed name brands to impress people
●Didn't know how to communicate as it pertained to bad emotions.
The purpose of the aforementioned tactics was solely for one reason. So that I would get so fed up that I would attempt to solve whatever problem they had. Perhaps I'd be irate and demand they talk about whatever is bothering them. Perhaps I'd intervene regarding an issue they had with associates. It was exhausting, and they knew I was reaching my boiling point. It had been years of this torment.
They already know
These unstable people have been who they are their entire lives. They know themselves better than you do. They look at every relationship as if it's transactional. They know the signs that someone is sick of them and are about to leave.
They are already setting up the people to facilitate this exit strategy. So, as opposed to working on themselves (therapy, religion, self-reflection, etc.), it's simpler to set up the exit strategy. During this process,they play on the emotions of both the person who's on the way out and the new person to receive all their drama.
By the time the new person realizes what's going on, the transition has already occurred. The new person thinks they've won a unicorn when they have in fact won a contract with a lunatic.
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