In 2020, I released some thoughts onto someone that I'd been holding in for over a decade. I would have taken them to my grave but this person backed me into a corner and I released. I felt so much better and wasn't seeking an apology. They literally said "I acknowledge it but I don't apologize for it".
Boy, was that a powerful statement. The sheer arrogance even at a time when I had the leverage was astounding. After that, I stopped waiting for apologies from people. And a little further down the line, I stopped desiring acknowledgment from people as well regarding the wrongs they've done. That's the leverage they had over me. My 'want' to receive closure. I stopped caring.
Caring takes up alot of time
For me, caring equated to solving grown folks problems....for free. To be honest, I'm sick of people paying me to solve their problems as well at times. I get paid to do your hair because you don't want to. I draw the line at you being 1-3 hours late. I draw the line at you coming with matted hair expecting ne not to charge an additional fee. I draw the line at your child talking trash to me while you leave to go shopping.
I stopped caring about "why" my loved ones were treating me with disrespect. Once I understood that they
●Were suffering because they refuse to accept help
●Refused to take my suggestions because they viewed me as inferior
●Only wanted help on their terms regardless of how it effected me
●Were intellectually lazy and wanted to trick me into solving their problem for them because they didn't want me to realize my importance
.....I literally lost my ability to care anymore .
My new mindset was "What's NOT gonna happen ". You don't have to yell or curse. You don't have to explain. You just calmly state facts and move along. If you keep waiting for acknowledgments or apologies, you may drive yourself crazy. Let it go.
Comments